The Portcullis Screeches Open: 10 Years, Universal Rules, and a Remodeled Dungeon!

 

The Portcullis Screeches Open: 10 Years, Universal Rules, and a Remodeled Dungeon!

Screeeeech.

Apologies for the rust. That is the sound of the old iron portcullis finally being cranked back into the ceiling. Dust is flying, cobblestones are being scrubbed of old blood, and as you can see from the commotion behind me, the work crews are pulling double shifts.

Let's address the gargoyle in the room: Portcullis RPG officially started on January 30th, 2017.

Yes, ten years ago.

Not long after launching, on February 20th, 2018, our gleeful little reprobate of a mascot, Redcap, underwent a massive visual evolution. We were incredibly fortunate to tap the brilliant mind of James V. West (now widely known as J.V. West) to bring Redcap to life—right before his distinct style rightfully exploded into OSR fame.

Since then? Well, the intervening years were a whirlwind. Life got busy, and like many of you, I found myself caught in the relentless, exhausting turnover between modern editions of the world's most popular RPG and the shifting tides of the Old School Renaissance. Redcap slipped into the shadows, the blog grew some cobwebs, and a few careless goblin helpers accidentally walked backward into gelatinous cubes.

But a milestone like a ten-year anniversary isn't for looking backward. It’s for clearing out the dead weight.

While the blog was quiet, my philosophy on the hobby evolved. I realized I am completely done chasing the edition treadmill. I don’t want to talk about system-specific bloat, hyper-localized errata, or mechanics that will be obsolete by the next print run.

Moving forward, Portcullis is dedicated to system-neutral, edition-free role-playing advice.

Whether you are running the literal 1974 original white box, a gritty OSR retro-clone, a streamlined 2d6 indie engine, or the absolute newest edition on the market, the advice, hazards, and random tables cooked up in this dungeon are designed to drop seamlessly into your game tonight. A good trap is a good trap. A tense psychological dilemma transcends stat blocks.

Redcap is back at the foreman's desk, the pig-faced orcs are painting over the old designs, and we are stripping the mechanics down to pure, unadulterated adventure.

Grab your ten-foot poles. The gate is open. What have your players triggered lately?

The Tale of the Three-Legged Milk Maid

Every bard worth their salt knows at least a few songs designed to get a tavern roaring with laughter. “The Tale of the Three-Legged Milk Maid” is one of those tunes—a bawdy ballad that thrives in smoky inns, rowdy fairs, and late-night campfires.

It’s not just a song—it’s a tradition. Wherever adventurers wander, someone has heard a version of it, though the lyrics vary wildly depending on who’s singing and how much ale they’ve had.

Tale of the Three-Legged Milk Maid on Instagram

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Lyrics (Common Version)

[The song begins with a jaunty, plucky lute rhythm, like a tavern tune. The bard sings with a conspiratorial wink.]

(Verse 1)

Oh, a dashing young bard with a silver-tongued way,

Made a date with the Lord's lovely Lady one day.

The hours flew past, a moment of bliss,

'Til the creak of the door warned of trouble and hiss!

(Verse 2)

"Oh, dearest," she cried, "the Lord's back from his tour!"

Then she tossed me, quite naked, from her chamber door.

I fell in the courtyard on laundry so white,

And wrapped myself up, a most pitiful sight!

(Verse 3)

With a bonnet and smock, I moved through the hall,

Hoping to leave, unseen by them all.

But a guard with a helmet too tight on his head,

Said, "Why, lassie, your hands are as soft as my bed!"

[The tempo slows and becomes more dramatic, with a rising anticipation in the music.]

(Chorus: Audience joins in, swaying with a tankard in hand)

Oh, the Guard and the Milkmaid,

Beneath the pale moon!

The Guard with his thick head,

And the Milkmaid with a boon!

He thought she was lovely,

He thought her a prize,

'Til a third leg appeared

Right before his eyes!

[The jaunty lute rhythm returns, faster than before.]

(Verse 4)

He looked down in confusion, he looked up in shock,

That a maiden should hide such a powerful rock!

His mouth opened wide for a terrified plea,

But I couldn't be caught by a brute such as he!

(Verse 5)

With a swift little flick of my delicate hand,

I swung my milk pail, as the moment was planned!

He fell like a sack, his wits knocked askew,

And I ran from the castle, with one sock and no shoe!

[The music becomes a joyous, frantic crescendo as the bard finishes with a flourish.]

(Outro)

So the next time you see me, and question my fame,

Just remember the maid and her fanciful frame!

For no lord or no guard can ever ensnare,

A bard with three legs and some laundry to spare!

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Bardic Effects (Optional Rule)

• Performance Check Bonus: Singing this song in a tavern grants a +2 bonus to Persuasion (Performance) checks with common folk.

• Tavern Perk: Any audience amused by the song is more likely to buy drinks, share rumors, or let their guard down.

• Risk: Nobles, clergy, or stern officials may find the ballad offensive, imposing disadvantage on Persuasion checks if they overhear.

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Adventure Hook

A bard is overheard singing the bawdy tune too close to the wrong noble’s estate—and now the party is being hunted for “indecency.” Or, a local village swears that the song is based on a true story…

Freebie Friday: Advanced FASERIP.. a retro-clone of Marvel Superheroes

 

I've enjoyed playing and running the original Marvel Super Heroes RPG, a.k.a. FASERIP, for decades. Sadly there is no more official support for the system. But  fortunately community love  for the system is still growing strong on the internet. Advanced FASERIP, is just one readily available retro-clone freely for download.

Click HERE go to DriveThruRPG

Adventure Seed: Temple of the Threefold Eye (Updated)

Art Content created by Gerald Williams

The Temple of the Threefold Eye, is an Adventure Seed meant to take place as a one shot scenario taking a few sessions, or can be dropped into a longer running campaign. It may not be used in a commercial product. Nor included in any collection or product without the express permission of the author, Gerald Williams.

The original premise for the adventure was a hidden, solitary temple, with a statue of an otherworldly entity. The idea was that anyone who made the treacherous journey through the mountains to find the temple, and then spend the night sleeping inside, would be granted a prophetic dream, or have their mind crushed by eternal madness. The mysterious Trioptic Entity, would be of unknown origins and power.

Overview:

Hidden amidst treacherous peaks, the Temple of the Threefold Eye, stands as a testament to forgotten cosmic forces. Its crumbling stone walls cling to the mountainside, and the air within hums with ancient magic. Few dare to venture here, for the temple’s reputation is as varied as the shifting winds that whip through its corridors.

The Statue:

At the heart of the temple’s dimly lit sanctum rests the Statue of the Trioptic Entity. Carved from obsidian, its features evoke both awe and unease:

Horned Aspect: The statue depicts a towering, horned figure—an otherworldly being that defies mortal understanding. Its curved horns sweep back like crescent moons, hinting at celestial or infernal origins.

Dual Eyes: Two eyes, each the size of a human head, gaze outward. Their irises shimmer with iridescence, reflecting the colors of distant galaxies. These eyes are said to see beyond the veil of reality.

Third Eye Gem: The most captivating feature lies in the statue’s forehead: a colossal, multifaceted gem. Its facets shift between azure, amethyst, and obsidian. Legends claim it holds the secrets of creation and destruction.

The Legends:

Whispers echo through the mountain passes, recounting the temple’s dual nature:

1. The Gift of the Trioptic Entity:

• Those who sleep within the temple’s shadow may experience profound revelations:
• Inspiration: A bard might awaken with verses that weave reality itself. A playwright could pen a drama that moves gods to tears. An author might birth a tome that alters history.
• Truth Unveiled: Seekers of hidden knowledge may glimpse cosmic truths—their minds expanded or shattered by revelations.
• Lore and Spells: The temple occasionally imparts forgotten spells or cryptic lore, inscribed on dream-touched scrolls.
• These fortunate souls emerge changed, their creativity ignited or their understanding of existence forever altered.

2. The Madness of the Trioptic Curse:

• Others who slumber here suffer a darker fate:
• Insanity: Their dreams twist into maddening nightmares. They wake with fractured minds, haunted by visions of eldritch realms.
• Whispers from the Abyss: The gem’s third eye whispers forbidden knowledge, driving them toward madness. Some become obsessed with deciphering its cryptic messages.
• Eyes of the Entity: A few claim to see through the statue’s eyes, glimpsing distant worlds and the cosmic dance of gods. But this communion exacts a toll—their sanity unravels.

Adventure Hooks:

• The Seeker’s Quest: A desperate artist seeks inspiration. They journey to the temple, hoping to create a masterpiece. Will they emerge as a genius or a broken soul?

• The Scholar’s Obsession: A sage believes the gem holds the key to rewriting reality. They hire the party to retrieve it, unaware of the curse that awaits.

• The Cult of the Trioptic Eye: A secretive cult worships the statue. They seek to awaken the entity, believing it will reshape the world. Can the adventurers thwart their plans?

GM Notes:

Be as creative as you want to be with the mood and reality of the temple's environment. Use surrealistic background music. Foreshadow with mad prophecies, whatever you like.

• Dreamscapes: Use dream sequences to convey revelations or madness. These dreams will occur and get stronger to any outside the temple as they approach it.
• Gem’s Whispers: Drop cryptic hints about forgotten spells or cosmic events. Use the temple as a way of revealing new spells, lore, or information in your campaign.
• The Entity Awakens: As the temple’s power waxes, the statue’s eyes glow brighter. Cataclysm looms. Maybe the entity begins to awaken on its own when disturbed, or when someone tries to steal its powerful eye gem.

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May your adventurers tread carefully, for the Trioptic Entity guards its secrets with both benevolence and malevolence.

Updated: July 13th, 2026

NASA's Free TTRPG Adventure: The Lost Universe!

 NASA, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration, has created and published their very own table top role-playing adventure, The Lost Universe! Now while they say it can be used with any role-playing system, it's clearly written for use with the current D&D 5e. They have released it over on their own official NASA website, but I'll drop the links here for your convenience.

..."A dark mystery has settled over the city of Aldastron, on the rogue planet of Exlaris. Researchers dedicated to studying the cosmos have disappeared, and the Hubble Space Telescope has vanished from Earth’s timeline."...

Sounds exciting!

These links are good as of 3/1/24 (The time this post was published.)

The Lost Universe

Download The Lost Universe gameplay instructional booklet. HERE

Map of Aldastron

Download the map of Aldastron to help you navigate through your adventure.  HERE

The Lost Universe Poster

Download and print The Lost Universe poster.  HERE

Optional Rules: Fighting Offensively or Defensively! (Revised)

 

Melee combat in modern d20 gaming often feels predictable—a repetitive exchange of attack rolls unless specific class features, feats, or spells come into play. But what if any martial character could inject more depth, risk, and strategy into their standard melee encounters?

By introducing Voluntary Combat Maneuvers, players gain tactical agency over their positioning and martial focus every single round.

How it Works At the start of your turn, before making any attacks, you can declare one combat maneuver modifier. This choice dictates your combat stance, modifying your accuracy and defenses until the start of your next turn.

Design Note: These maneuvers are intended for standard weapon attacks and cannot be combined with specialized precision features like a Rogue’s Sneak Attack or a Paladin's Divine Smite.

Example in Action: Toral the Rat-Catcher finds his escape route blocked by three guardsmen. He knows that if they dogpile him, he's done for. In desperation, he rushes forward declaring a Reckless Attack, hoping to bring down the guard on his right to open up a running lane. Because Toral managed to catch them by surprise, the DM awards him Advantage on the roll, which combines beautifully with his +2 modifier—giving him the ultimate mechanical edge to break the line before his -2 AC penalty catches up to him.

Revised: July 13th, 2026

Help Naming your NPCs and PCs (Updated)

In the realm of tabletop role-playing games, Game Masters often find themselves in a familiar predicament. They meticulously introduce player characters to a scene, deeply describing the main, plot-relevant NPC who awaits their interaction. Yet, much to the GM’s chagrin, the players frequently veer off course, completely drawn to some seemingly insignificant background character—the one hastily added as an afterthought.

And, as if scripted, they immediately insist on knowing the exact name, profession, and life story of this inconspicuous figure. Fear not, dear GMs, for we can easily solve the immediate hurdle: the art of naming on the fly.

Building a Persona Catalog In my day-to-day work, I regularly encounter individuals from diverse corners of the globe. Because of this, I maintain a running, real-world catalog of unique and unconventional names. Keeping a list like this within arm’s reach during game sessions is perfect for swift deployment whenever a player catches you off guard.

However, even with a trusty personal roster, sometimes a campaign demands specific regional flavor. Picture a quaint village nestled in the folds of your world map where names need to resonate with shared cultural or ethnic origins—perhaps an enclave where names carry distinct archaic, regional, or historical roots to make the settlement feel alive. For those scenarios, I turn to these invaluable naming resources:

Essential Naming Reference Books

The Everyone Everywhere List (TEEL)
Author: Erik James Olsrud
Details: Available on DriveThruRPG. An excellent tool for pulling authentic names from a massive variety of real-world cultures.

Treasury of Archaic Names (ToAN)
Author: Bill Owen
Details: Fantastic for finding old-world, historical naming conventions that give fantasy settings an ancient, grounded feel.

Extraordinary Book of Names (EBoN)
Author: Malcolm Bowers (Part of the Gary Gygax World Builder Series)
Details: Back in print via Troll Lord Games. A massive, comprehensive staple for deep-dive campaign building and world design.

Story Games Names Project (SGNP)
Author: Various community contributors
Details: Available for free online. A massive, collaborative compilation explicitly organized to help game masters assign quick, thematic names based on genre.

Due to the ever-changing nature of the Internet, and quickly changing link addresses, I'm just pointing out these resources instead of directly linking to anything.

Digital Tools & Generators

If you are running a session away from your physical books or need an instant result in a pinch, keeping a few reliable digital tools bookmarked on your phone or laptop is a lifesaver. These stable, classic platforms remain incredibly reliable resources for generating names instantly behind the screen:

Donjon - Donjon Fantasy Name Generator: Perfect for sorting by specific fantasy races, cultures, or classic d20 themes.

Fantasy Name Generators - Fantasy Name Generators: A massive index covering everything from realistic historical cultures to specific pop-culture and fantasy archetypes.

RPG Names dot com - RPG Names: A direct, no-nonsense generator built specifically to keep tabletop games moving forward without a hitch.

Updated: July 13th, 2026